Resolving Separation: How family mediation can make a difference

Separation can be an overwhelming experience, fraught with emotional and practical challenges. However, family mediation offers a constructive and collaborative way to address these issues without resorting to lengthy and costly court proceedings. Mediation is a voluntary, confidential process where a neutral third party (the mediator) helps separating couples communicate effectively, identify shared goals, and work towards mutually agreeable solutions.

In this article we will explore the mediation process and examine the key benefits of mediation and other methods of dispute resolution, as a way of resolving the practical arrangements following separation. 

The family mediation process

Initial call

Mediation usually starts with the mediator having a short telephone call with each of the prospective parties.  The purpose of this call is to discuss the mediation process and consider with each of the parties whether there are any issues which would mean that mediation may not be appropriate. 

Individual meetings

After the individual meetings, if the parties wish to proceed with mediation and the mediator deems it appropriate to do so, they will need to arrange a joint session with the mediator.  This first meeting is used to go through the agreement to mediate, deal with any interim or pressing issues and to agree the agenda for future sessions.

First joint meeting

After the individual meetings, if the parties wish to proceed with mediation and the mediator deems it appropriate to do so, they will need to arrange a joint session with the mediator.  This first meeting is used to go through the agreement to mediate, deal with any interim or pressing issues and to agree the agenda for future sessions.

Further joint meetings

The agenda for the future meetings will depend on the issues but this will usually involve discussions in respect of the arrangements for the children followed by a review of the parties’ financial disclosure and an exploration of possible solutions.

If a consensus is reached, the mediator can record the relevant information and decisions in a number of documents.  These are as follows:-

Open financial statement
This records the parties’ financial information as set out in the financial disclosure they have each provided.  This is an open document rather than without prejudice, given that it pertains to matters of financial disclosure which are always open. 

Memorandum of Understanding
This records the discussions in mediation and the overall solutions discussed.  This is a without prejudice document, meaning that it cannot be disclosed in any court proceedings.

Parenting Plan
This records the arrangements for the children and any other matters parents want to document in respect of the day-to-day care of their children.

Any agreement reached in mediation is not legally binding until the parties have had independent legal advice in respect of it.  Once this has taken place, one of the parties’ lawyers will usually turn the Memorandum of Understanding into an order which can be lodged with the court for approval by a Judge.

The benefits of family mediation

There are several benefits to the mediation process, some of which are set out below.  Mediation is not always right for everyone, and the mediator and the parties’ own solicitor will consider any issues which may make mediation difficult or inappropriate.  The benefits include: –

Flexibility

• The mediator will encourage the parties to set the agenda and confirm what they want to discuss in mediation.  They can address matters important to their family and those which may not otherwise be relevant in a court process.
• Mediation sessions can be arranged for a time and place convenient to the parties and the mediator.  The length of time between sessions and the pace of mediation generally can be agreed by the mediator and the participants.  This gives the participants agency over the process and they can take as much time as is needed to collate financial disclosure and reflect on proposals made.
• Decisions reached in mediation can be tailored to suit the participants family.  This is unlike court-imposed decisions where the judge may not have the power to impose similar arrangements or has not appreciated communication.  A mediator’s role is to facilitate a conversation between the parties and encourage solutions from each of them regarding the outcome.  When a decision is made together in mediation it is more likely that the parties will be happier with it and those decisions will stand the test of time.  Mediation is designed to encourage communication and an ongoing co-parenting relationship, which is particularly important for parents who are going to have a relationship for the rest of their children’s lives. 

Privacy

• Mediation is private and confidential, which means that the parties are encouraged to be open about the options they want to consider.  This often results in particies making suggestions they would be reluctant to make in court proceedings.  Please note that discussions are held on a “without prejudice” basis. This means that if you are unable to reach an agreement, anything you have proposed cannot be used against you in court.

Costs and speed

• If successful, mediation can be a lot cheaper and quicker than court proceedings.  By setting the agenda and choosing the number of sessions you have, parties have much more control over the process than when they are embroiled in court proceedings.  The mediator would also manage the process and ensure that mediation does not continue if it is not progressing appropriately or the position is polarising the parties further.

In summary, mediation is a valuable way of resolving family disputes effectively and amicably and should be encouraged in all appropriate cases.  Recent changes to the Family Procedure Rules require almost all parties to try mediation or explain to the court why they haven’t.

If you’re ready to learn more about how mediation can help you navigate separation with less stress and more control, we invite you to join our upcoming webinar on family mediation. In this session, we’ll dive deeper into the process, answer your questions, and provide valuable insights into how mediation can help you reach practical and fair resolutions, that will stand the test of time, for you and your family.

Register now to secure your spot and take the first step toward a more informed approach to resolving your family matters.